It often happens.Sometimes there is nothing to do,or I can say there is no homework,I will be free,so that I will be blank(I want to express空虚的).I feel terrible.
It seems only do homework can make me substantial(充实的)(Actually,it just not blank,not so substantial).But in fact,I don’t like do homework.At least,not do these what I don’t want to do.Such as chemistry or biological.Maybe I study for so long,from the primary school and then middle school and high school.During these time,I have to study for most time.So if I don’t study,there will nothing to do.In my memories,I have had blank feelings at these time,but only weekend.Because during the workday,I stay at school and study makes me substantial.So much better to say I have no time to think if I am blank or substantial.Maybe I am so obedient that makes me think nothing is useful except study.
In my deepest thinking,maybe I don’t want to study,but my brain tell myself “you can’t stop study,you can’t play computer or you can’t do…”.So I feel terrible because I battle against myself.Whatever I choose will makes me anxious.On one hand,I don’t want to waste time to something unnecessary,on the other hand I want to do these things.I am a little greedy.
I scared other people will use what I waste to do better than me.Although it actually have happened.
I always tell myself,”Everything has its worth”.But easy to understand and hard to do.I told myself “time is fair”.Maybe I can think in another way,if all my time looks like “substantial”,then where my happiness and that’s bored and tired.I can’t enjoy now too much and I also can’t worry future too much.Do what you want to do and Do what you think is right.The most important,DON’T REGRET.